*Phone rings*
“The person you are trying to reach is not available at the moment. Please try again later.”
This is what I tell myself when I see something which could even slightly affect me negatively. This is the art of disassociation—a sense of disconnect. Learning this art, with the help of angry people, has been my biggest quest in recent years. They are too many in number. In fact, I was one of them few years ago—not too violent but I knew my temper wasn’t pleasing either.
I have changed so much as a person. We all have been bratty in our younger days. I used to be on the other side of the table—imposing my emotions on others and trying to have my way—before I had this huge self-realization. That my mood swings are of no help. Eventually people will get tired of them. At that time I came in contact with some wonderful people whose take on life inspired me to stay cool. Just stay cool… not for anyone else, but for yourself.
When you get angry or annoyed, the person it affects the most is you. Your blood pressure rises, you abuse people, you tell them things for which you’d repent later, and the list goes on. May I also add that a person looks his worst when he is irate—someone you wouldn’t be able to recognize your normal self with. Someone who will force people to stop liking you—that’s a total damage of image.
I was never a confrontational person. To some extent, I was an over-powering one on those who wouldn’t say anything. So I knew what exactly I had to stop doing. I started giving myself more time, brought in more patience in the picture. Things started becoming easier to deal with.
Now, during a heated moment, I disconnect myself from the whole situation as soon as it begins. I just don’t react or get affected by it. I try not to say anything bad. I tell myself that I am not responsible for others’ behavior. All these might sound very preachy but if you start practicing you would know it brings so much peace to your mind. Sometimes it’s fun to just watch animated reactions—just don’t forget your popcorn! Remember to avoid those setups in future because having popcorn is good only now and then.
It’s very important to highlight, because I have heard this a couple of times, that this could appear as a sign of weakness. Actually, it’s not. Having control over one’s emotions—be it anger, fear, sadness, happiness, etc. is the biggest mark of strength. It takes a lot not to breakdown mentally. It takes a whole lot of character to be able to sustain the peace in your inner self. In today’s world, everything is offensive if you get offended. People will not change to please you. You have got to stop taking a trip where situations go south.
Ending this article with a beautiful thought…
Liz Ryan
Walking away from the wrong things (and people) is just as important as walking towards the right ones.
Moments to Stories 